The Tex Mess Junker Chronicle

What I pretended to know about Texas and Texans is partly true and partly not.


There are oil wells and oil suction pumps but not as many as I’d have expected, I haven’t seen any car with bull or buffalo horns on the hood and this was kinda disappointing, I have spotted only one person wearing that particular texan tie, Doormat, TX is an extraordinary label and Caleb Fraid is really the histrionic artist I had imagined and depicted in my mind.

Everything is big in Texas, is immense and, of course, I could not see everything in a week but I really liked what I saw. The heart of Texans is equally immense. When our flight back to Italy was cancelled, we were saved and we felt loved. Thank you Caleb, Scarlett and Pete, I miss you already and I want to bring you in Italy. Darrell, I will find something that you can eat here too, don’t worry! Scarlett, Pete, the next road trip is in Puglia, don’t forget! Thank you Kimberly Holiday and Joel Richard Huschle for bringing us to Port Bolivar and that beautiful place by the lake. We want to be with you again soon. Two years, you said. Emilia loves you all.

No name is more suitable than Super Happy Fun Land for Super Happy Fun Land, the venue is colorful, scenic, warm and Brian, the host, is really friendly, cordial and affiable. The show and the art exhibition were wonderful. I wish I could have brought some art back to Italy.

How many hours did I spend at the Super Happy Fun Land? Many and all accompanied by good music and occasionally by the whistle of a train. By the way, how long are the trains in Texas and America?

I tried not to miss a single second of the concerts and I did it in part. I stayed almost to the end and if it hadn’t been for the damn jetlag I could tell you how the evening ended. It was really exciting to see Caleb Fraid, Kids Of The Atomic Age and Nutrition Fun live for the first time after years of listening to their records and cassettes, it was incredible to hear Furniture Huschle sing songs from some of his records that I love. ”Man struggle Against Nature”, ”Be A Cop”, ”I Built A woman”, ”Cadaver Cake”! It was beautiful to see my friend Rick Goosewind on stage again, rocking hard, and Restaurnaut playing his horse music, how many years ago did he send me ”When The Hue Was More”?

I was pleasantly surprised by the performances of Doo Crowder, CC’D and Poopylungstuffing.

I almost completely missed the concerts of Muzak John and Organfailure but fortunately I had my portable recorder with me and I will have the chance to fix it. I saw only the last two songs of Kris Smith, which were really good.

I lost the end of the last concert and I’m really sorry, the tribute to Charlie, because I was tired and my little Emilia was sleeping in the stroller by hours. Celie, Will Milner, I wish I could have spent more time with you, hear tales about Charlie, I miss him a lot. I hope we will have other chances in the future.

I have a new wardrobe made of T-shirts that I will wear with pride and for which I thank you.

Christopher Fischer, I’m sorry I didn’t bring you capperi, but I will send you some soon in an anonymous envelope.

And it’s official, no matter how long I can practice or play, I will never understand the rules of baseball not even If a ball hits me hard on the head. It will certainly help me discover gravity, I will probably lose my memory and I will convince myself to be Omar Vizquel or Jose Canseco, but I will never know what to do after you hit the ball.

What is 100% sure is that I root for the Astros and the Doormat, TX team.